I feel so down and discouraged today. i know life is a “bummer” but i didn’t expect it to be worse than that. i guess you guys are thinking this is all about the continuous price increase of EVERYTHING – from oil, to gasoline/lpg, to transportation fee, to the food we eat.. well, you may be right, or maybe this might be a deeper problem than any other problems an individual can encounter.
It is just astonishing for me to realize that this is the LIFE. a life different from the life i got used to be. a life i should be adjusting to, for me to endure the heavy load i carry and will be carrying.. who knows? maybe there will be other several kinds of lives i will have after what i have right now. but only one thing is for sure: life will never be easy. how carefree you are and how untroubled you may be, there is still one or two very difficult times in your life that you cannot avoid.. do you believe in fate? destiny? whatever.
I really want to go to a place far from reality. i want to be free from this EVERYTHING – with no problems, no troubles, but with only happiness in me. it would be an ideal life that everyone wanted to have, right? of course i want to have that kind of life too. but where will you be in that case? you’ll only exist in the dreams and daydreams of every people.. i’d rather choose that than to live in this material world. why, you ask? i’m starting to hate everything: the world, my life, myself.
I want to cry without someone seeing me. why can’t i do that? why can’t i have my privacy when i wanted to? why is it i always have to be with the people i don’t want to be with? is this what life is all about? is this similar to sacrifice? my heart is in pain and it is almost broken, can’t somebody fix it? do i really have to feel this pain? should i always be like this? when will my heart be healed? i want to be with somebody, but who could it be?… only God knows. i want to cry it all out loud to Him.
